I am a positive person. Extremely positive. But lately my self-belief that I can achieve great things, HUGE tasks, have sort of dwindled. And writing this now, seems a little crazy, because I know deep down – this is Not me! I am not a self-seeker of being in a negative mindset. But I was in such a negative state of mind, that migraines and sickness started to form – pretty quick. I rarely get a headache and lately I have been having migraines nearly every day. Why?
Stress, over thinking, fear of achieving my big milestones and fear of people, who I have never met before not liking it…
I am an ideas person, I thrive on ideas and over the past year, I have been pushing myself to not just have an idea, brainstorm it, but actually live it. And my ideas keep pouring through, bigger and bigger. The problem is, the bigger my idea is, the bigger I have to jump. I know I can do it. I know its possible. Yet, I can tell you, it’s so different from what I am used to, I feel like I am crazy for trying it.
But there is a very small voice telling me, to chill. (Aussie slang which means – relax). Get a grip – think of it as something that is really fun. The other part of me, is thinking the reality of such a large, timely task, but I know just spending a little bit each day, breaking the task down, will see it through.
Now you are going to call me really crazy when you read this –
When I first realised I wanted my dream career to be a paid writer earning a wage I could live off, I took on the rollercoaster ride and it was a massive shift of mindset, routine and all of the above. When I felt I was on track and all was heading in the right direction, I was ready for something else. Something that would push me out of my comfort zone. That would give me the unnerving feeling of trying something new. Not just dabbling my feet in water but jumping right in. And here it is. It’s happening right now. And I am half freaking out and yet really excited.
My impatience is catching up to me, as I want this to ‘just happen already.’ And it will very soon. The truth is, I have no idea of what will come from it. I don’t know the result or where I will go from here. But what I do know is this:
I am taking a brave move. I am doing something that I feel is needed in the world. And its nothing I have ever done before. I am pushing myself to higher heights.
I can honestly say, I am pushing my limits. Are you?