So I just finished watching the movie ‘A Little Bit of Heaven’. I feel so raw. It became one of those movies that came to a point where I wanted to stop watching because it was really hard to watch emotionally yet I couldn’t stop myself from watching. Spoiler alert if you want to watch this movie do not read on.
I have had two very close family members die from cancer. The movie takes you through how not only the patient is affected but everyone around them. I cried for my family lost, I cried for the characters in the movie, I cried through the emotional pain they went through. I cried because I wondered what it would be like to be given a due date for your death, ie from cancer. I am a positive person, so crying is not very common and it wasn’t a nice cry. I have a headache, sorry eyes and a blocked nose. I am not complaining I just don’t know how to pick myself up from this heavy weight.
Apart from the sadness of the movie and how so many people would relate to this in some way or another. I did find scenes where I wondered, what would be my three wishes in life. If I had the chance to create the life I wanted (which we all do by the way) what would I change?
I realised that I have everything I want and more. I realised if I was on my death bed, receiving millions of dollars would claim no meaning to me. Although I would spread it amongst family and friends, if I was dying what would it mean to me? Yes I want money in my life not to boast about it or to be greedy but to use it to enjoy life with. Buy real gifts for people I would really love to give them instead of a gift that was within budget. Go on adventures and holidays and experience new things. Money opens up a whole new world. But the attachment to money needs to no longer exist. And that is something I need to let go. So if I cleansed myself I would ask that money claim no emotional meaning in my life. Yet that money be always available when I need it.
What I also loved about this movie, was the main character diagnosed with cancer, found the love of her life before it was too late. But again, it was bittersweet. Knowing that in the back of your mind the man will lose the love of his life and still live for decades to come, alone. Maybe he would find someone else. But that’s not the point, at that very moment in time they were each others love and then it was taken away from them. One remained. I respect those partners who get up and continue to live life and even find another love down the track. It takes great courage to learn to not be scared that you will lose the love of your life again.
I guess I just wanted to share that it does not matter where you are in your life or how much time you have left. Think about what you really want to experience in life. Then really try each day to make one small change to the new direction your life wants to follow. Change is hard if you let it be or it can be the most exciting phase of your life. Because deep down you know that this is where you always wanted to be. Right at this very moment.