I admit I am a perfectionist. But the downside to being a perfectionist is I really struggle with achieving everything I want in the 24 hours I have each day to complete it.
I feel I am being pulled in all different directions. There is so much that I want to achieve in all aspects of my life. But finding the balance is difficult and seems to be a daily challenge I face. Then finding the time to organise what I want to complete and making the time to do it all, is difficult and rather stressful. And on top of that, finding the energy on an ongoing basis to complete my hundreds of tasks every waking moment becomes even harder.
I realise I have another problem; I can’t bear the thought of giving up on one of my many projects. I know if I gave up on one it would provide me with more time to focus on the others. It is as if I am stuck in a mighty jungle with many pathways to choose from. Instead of selecting one path, I choose many.
But where should I direct my focus to first? Family, writing, business, fitness or leisure? Once I select my chosen direction, I then focus on the long list of tasks demanding my attention.
And what about me? Am I being selfish even to question this? I am tired. I find it hard to relax for thirty minutes, sometimes even ten minutes without feeling guilty that I should be doing something. I am not complaining about my life. I love every aspect of it. I am just trying to find the ‘perfect’ way to make it all happen without the rushed feeling that time is running out to achieve everything I want to in a day.
My crave for perfection, for having it all, for trying to include every hobby and interest that I have in one day got me thinking… Is this how children feel when they get taken from school, to play group, to sport, to music class. Then arriving home, to going out to a restaurant for dinner and then going home to do homework and prepare for the day ahead?
Are we all too busy to be satisfied with out current chaotic lives to really just listen to our inner selves?
Maybe then we will discover what we really want from life. Then by knowing what we are aiming to achieve in life, we can dedicate our time to succeeding at a comfortable steady pace.