Time – It can break you or make you

I am a positive person. I hate being angry. Ask my husband. If we have a fight, 9 times out of 10 I am the first to break the angry spell, because I just can’t stand being angry. Why would anyone want to feel angry for such a long period of time? I am someone who loves to feel happy, at peace and tries to see the bright side out of everything. Yet sometimes it can be frustrating not knowing what is going to happen. I am an organised perfectionist (what a combination). I like to know what is going to happen when and how.

I strive every day for a better life, for discovering something extra about me and how I can be better. How can I grow? Yet, sometimes I feel I am not getting any where. I am starting to realise, I am just starting at the beginning. When one starts at the beginning of any new task it can be daunting as we don’t know all the steps to the end result. We don’t know what is going to happen along the way. There is so much mystery; no wonder people give up on ideas before they even begin. Yet I feel like I am continually at the beginning of new emotions, new feelings and new life changes. I am ready to explore me and my life. I feel as though this is my time.

What I am worried about however is, what if time runs out before I get to fully discover my dreams? I do have a ticker. And I am not talking about the ticker of life. I have a deadline before I have to return to my old way of living. And if I do return when will I get this chance again to really go after my dreams, to discover me. If I can change my life now by following my dreams I never have to return to my old way of life. And I feel I have come so far already, to even consider going back is lying to me. I guess this is just one more road block I need to find a way around.
I know I can achieve my dreams and I know this is my time. When is the time ever right to accomplish your biggest dreams in life? Normally there is never a right time. But this is my time. I know it. I can feel it. Now I just need to believe in it. Make time for it. Cherish it. My life has completely changed and it’s only going to change more. It’s terrifying and exciting at the same time. I have no idea what to expect, what will happen or how it will happen. But I do know that this is my time, my time to believe in me.

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